The Bounds of Sorrow

"And as her soul was departing (for she was dying), she called his name Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin." (Genesis 35:18)

How we suffer often correlates with how we walk with God. There are the occasions when the wicked die in complete silence or the ignorant in presumption, but these are few (Ps. 73:4). Often, the inner man finds himself squeezed out by suffering. How Rachel and Jacob face their sorrow tells us much of their hearts.

Rachel, as we will remember, was the beautiful sister, favored by Jacob. Jacob labored fourteen years for her and counted them but as a few passing hours because of his love for her. However, her beautiful face did not always match her heart. When barren during Leah's fruitful years, she raised an envious voice to Jacob: "Give me children, or I shall die!" (Gen. 30:1)

Little did she know how those words would come back to haunt her. This final son's birth proved to be her death. She would have this son be a monument to her sorrow, naming him Ben-oni or "son of my sorrow."

We cannot know for certain the source of her sorrow. Was it her death? The parting of her children? Her remorse over that ill-guided statement from long ago? This we cannot answer, but we know it consumed her and almost consumed her son.

Jacob, however, named the boy "Benjamin" or "son of my right hand." Jacob had every reason to be sorrowful, for he lost the very woman whom he labored fourteen long years to wed. The monument built for her was a testament to his love, for we find no mention of a monument for Leah or the servants.

However, Jacob's sorrow finds itself hedged in by his relationship to God: "the God who answers me in the day of my distress and has been with me wherever I have gone." (35:3) His faith in God functions as a levee, keeping the rivers of sorrow within their proper bounds. No more would his son forever drown in his mother's sorrow; rather, he would be defined by his father's faith.

Reader, we all know sorrow. Truly, there is a broken heart in every pew. However, how do you sorrow? How to you mourn? The Bible allows great freedom to weep, for our Savior consecrated our own tears by the shedding of His own.

The difference between a godly and ungodly sorrow is not the amount of tears, but the point of reference. Our sorrow should not terminate on itself; rather, our sorrow should be bound by the God who hears us and is present wherever we weep. Even in our weeping, let us find comfort in our God.